Choosing a Family
At Adoption Assistance Agency we believe that the birthmother/birthparents have the best sense of who is the best family to parent their child. Therefore, we have the adoptive parents prepare photo albums and a letter to you as the birthparent. Even though we have provided biographical information about many of our families on this website, we have found that the best way to choose a family is by being able to “look” into their world through the photo album, which can be viewed at the agency. One picture really does speak more than a thousand words and each family has provided a whole picture album of pictures! Additionally, we always have a few families that are not yet on our website that you would be able to view at the agency as well.
In preparing yourself to select the right family for your child, you need to ask yourself some questions:
- What kind of family setting do I want for my child? Ex: small, close-knit family unit; large extended family; rural family; city dwellers; in-state; out-of-state; outdoor activities; cultural pursuits.
- What family or cultural values are important to me? Ex: religion, education, training in sports, music, attitudes toward pets, holiday celebrations, etc.
- What particular values do I hope are important to the adoptive family?
- Do I hope my child will have siblings in the adoptive home, now or in the future?
- Do I hope that the adoptive mom/couple will wish to be involved in my medical appointments or not?
- Do I desire a family who wishes to meet with me?
- Do I wish to have an adoptive family who will be willing to provide me with letters and pictures updating me on my child’s growth at some designated intervals after they take the baby home?
- Do I wish to request a visit or visits with the child and his/her parents after the adoption?
- What of these points above are negotiable to me?
Asking yourself these questions will help you and will help your caseworker provide albums on families that will meet your criteria. However, we would have to urge you not to have too rigid a criteria list for your adoptive family before you look at their albums. More than once, we have had a birthparent who was set on having an adoptive family who did not already have children or who were out of state, only to find that when they looked at albums, they found the PERFECT FAMILY who happened to be a little different than what they thought they would want. So the best advice is to give careful consideration to the questions above and then go in to look at albums with an open mind. Be sure to tell the caseworker you meet with what points are non-negotiable and which points are negotiable. You may wish to meet the family you select, which is often a wonderful confirmation that you have made the right choice.