Adoption Assistance Agency – Adoption Video


Adoption…
Is from the heart of God
He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will Ephesians 1:5
All Life Comes from God
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you… Jeremiah 1:5
If you find yourself in a difficult situation there are options
Will You Consider Adoption
AdoptionAssistance.org

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Adoption Assistance Agency: Our Story Continued

Continued:

Matt and I visited the agency two years prior to being ready to take the next step.  They were honest and understood we had some grief to go through before we were truly ready to fill out the adoption application.  Two years later, I dropped by the Adoption Assistance Agency to talk to them about the process.  We really thought Guatemala was for us but God had a better plan.  We had heard many myths about domestic adoption and had fear.  Adoption Assistance Agency put these fears to rest by sharing  expert knowledge and facts.  Matt and I prayed a lot more.  God changed our hearts and we decided a domestic adoption was perfect for us.

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Adoption Assistance Agency:Our Story

When Matt and I found out we could not get pregnant, we immediately thought adoption.  It was only for a fleeting moment we considered en-vitro.

Lost in our grief we did not know where to begin.  Not to worry, God was in control and lead us to a support group at our church.  It was there we met couples who were in the various stages of adoption.  In the support group we were given information about an adoption seminar given by a local agency.  Matt and I went to the seminar and began asking lots of questions.  We started talking about adopting overseas (China or Guatemala).  We begin dreaming that someday we would be holding our baby.  The more Matt and I prayed the more God brought people into our lives that had adopted.  Our best friends of 15 + years had adopted from Russian and the Adoption Assistance Agency played a big roll in getting their baby home.  Matt and I had researched several adoption agencies and became frustrated.  We needed to be able to trust the agency and wanted them to walk with us through the journey.  Our best friends highly recommended Adoption Assistance Agency, so we gave it a shot and scheduled an appointment.

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Her Eyes

Every single time I really stop and look into my daughters eyes I truly feel weak at the knees.. My heart races, she is SO beautiful so perfect and such a gift.  When I sing to her it’s more than just singing to her, it is this amazing mystery about adoption that is almost impossible to put into words. I am singing to my baby and I LOVE it with all of my heart, but it goes even beyond that. It is like I am singing to her not only for her, and I and our bond but also for her birthmom.

I look into her eyes and I know the depth of trust that has been placed into my hands.  I am not perfect but I want to strive to be the BEST mommy.  Not only because motherhood is so terribly important, but ALSO because now someone else thought me worthy of it and entrusted it to me, because there is a woman out there who daily faces grief and joy at the knowledge that her daughter/our daughter is in our care.

I want to be the mommy she was looking for for this baby and I want to be pleasing to the Lord in the journey!

Adoption is amazing

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Birth Fathers are often involved! Check out the following written by one of our precious Birth Fathers

My Story about the Miracle of Adoption

I believe that every parent makes decisions regarding their children, some of those decisions are right and some are wrong. But the only content in those decisions is that they were made in the best interest of the child. Adoption is a wonderful opportunity for the child and for adoptive parents, its gives options to those who had none and it gives life to those who could not otherwise create life. Adoption is a long process and unfortunately for adoptive parents an especially long process. But once the adoptive parents take the child home that’s when the real Miracle starts. For me, the decision to give my child up for adoption wasn’t a particularly hard decision because I knew first hand the benefits of adoption. I was adopted when I was just two days old, I don’t know much about my birth mom and that’s OK because I know that my parents I have now are my parents.

The grief that someone in my/our position goes through is very difficult to describe in words,and of course I still think about my child everyday. The grief is something only a parent could understand. But I will tell you this, it is the hardest and easiest decision I have ever made. I knew that where I was in my life I was not able to take care of a child. I wanted to be able to provide everything my child needed and wanted, and I knew I could not do that. I ultimately was left with the question. “What is my plan if I am unable to provide clothes and food for my child?” And with that, I knew the adoption was the best and only option for my child.

As a birth father I felt it was important for me to support the birth mother through the process. Birth fathers have a much different role in this process then the birth mothers. Us as fathers have not had to opportunity to establish a relationship with the child like the mother has. While we still feel emotion attachment to the child we have not been the one taking care of of the child for the past nine months. So I felt that it was my responsibility to support the birth mother and allow her to make the decision, like adoptive parents, hospital, doctors, case worker and agency. I wanted to make sure that the birth mother felt comfortable about everything because the truth of the matter is, the birth mother is the one who does all the hard work. So when the birth mother told me that she had chosen parents and that she had wanted me to go with to meet them, I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I was excited because in a way we get to meet what are child is going to be when she gets older. Whether children like it or not they are images of their parents, so one way or the other our child was going to be like these people. The Drive to meet the parents was a very long and nerve racking trip. We knew that whatever the adoptive parents thought of us, was what our child was going to think of us as when she grew up. I wanted my child to understand that I wasn’t making this decision for me, I was making it for her, and that we chose the parents because we trusted them and we knew that they would raise our child the way we/I could not. When we finally met the adoptive parents, they were everything that we could pray for in adoptive parents. They were the nicest couple with the most beautiful daughter. They were kind, loving, caring, polite, respectable and easy to talk to, every minute we spent with them just reassured me that these were the people that I wanted to raise my child. The thing that I was most impressed about with the adoptive parents was their willingness to open up, they wanted us to everything about them, and they wanted to know everything about us. They treated the meeting as a once in a lifetime opportunity to get to know us and everything about us. Which really made me feel great about them and eased my mind.

On the day my child was born it was a very hard time for me. I did not know how to act, I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t know what think or how to feel. Everything that we had been planning for the past nine months had all come down to this. The birth mother and I knew this was the only time we would ever get to spend with our child. I wanted to spend as much time with her and her mother as I could. And now looking back on it, it was not enough time. I wish that I would’ve had just one more minute, just one more time to see her face….. (remember how I was talking about the grief that never goes away, here it is) The truth is that everyday I’m filled with regret and wishful thinking. Everyday I wish that things could be different, I regret not holding my child one last time, I wish I would’ve have had just one more hour with her, I regret not seeing her grow up. This is the hardest part of my decision, living with it. Adoption is hard thing for someone to go through and it changes many things about a person and they way they will live they’re life after that. But what made it an easy decision, is when I see the pictures that I receive from the adoptive parents. Her smiling laughing spending time with her sister and friends and reading the letters about how she has grown up. That’s what makes this a Miracle.

Only God can make this work. Only God can make something so hard so easy. Only God could have gotten me through this. But I’m not the Miracle, my child is. The Miracle is that my child will have everything that I wanted to provide her, every opportunity that I wanted to give her. Without adoption my child would not be provided for and thank I God everyday for the opportunity of adoption.

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Thoughts from Johanna and Matt– Adoptive Parents

Adoption is a journey filled with defining moments and profound lessons. Our journey began four years ago when my husband and I found out we could not have children. God had another plan for us, adoption. At first our hearts were filled with grief. The more God lead us to the place of adoption and walked us through the process with Adoption Assistance Agency, we began to find peace. Our hearts were being prepared so that we could be the best parents for our little girl. We had done a lot of research, and a lot of praying. God brought others who were going to adopt and had adopted into our lives in the most miraculous ways. These people walked along side of my husband and I during the process. To this day, we consider them to be family.

January 2007, my husband and I filled out our adoption application. Just when we began to think: maybe God has not designed us to be parents, maybe this is not in his plan for us; August 2008 we got a call from our Agency saying there are birthparents who would like to place their child with us. My husband and I had the privilege of meeting both of them. In October 2008, our daughter was born. We brought her home from the hospital 48 hours later and began an amazing chapter in our life. Our daughter is a healthy 2 year old who is busy, busy, busy.

We are forever grateful to her birthparents for choosing to place our daughter in our family. She is so much a part of our lives, I forget I did not give birth to her.

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Words from a Birth Mother

The following was written and shared by Christine:

“I am 100% confident in my decision to do an adoption plan for my baby. I prayed and knew it was the best decision for the baby and my family. We were going through a very hard time when I was pregnant; abusive husband that was in jail and had a drug problem, my father was emotionally unstable, and I had children I was raising under these very difficult circumstances. I knew it was not fair to have the baby come into a life like that. For all the birthparents living in unstable homes, drug abuse, etc. consider doing an adoption plan for your baby. To be a strong parent you must know what is best for the child. Have faith in your decision if you decided adoption is the best. I had lots of faith in the agency and my caseworker. I never went back on my decision, and I have no regrets. I think about the adoptive parents that could not have a child and were ready to be parents. I helped make their dreams come true! to fulfill a life long dream! It was the most wonderful thing I could have done. You need to have faith, and KNOW you are doing what is best.”

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thoughts from an adoptive mom

As my daughter’s birthday and Christmas came and went there was one woman who was heavy on my heart through these joyful times in my home.  It was our daughter’s birthmother. I thought about her a lot. We have a closed adoption so I don’t know much about her birthmom, but with what I do know I prayed for her throughout the season. I wondered if she had a support system in her life. I wondered if she felt joy at the knowledge that her baby was in a loving home or if she felt grief.

I imagine it was a mixture of both.

It drew me back to all of my feelings regarding our daughter’s birthmom. I can’t imagine a woman more brave.  I can’t imagine a woman more loving.  She chose life! She chose to give this beautiful, amazing, sweet, dramatic little girl life.  Even though the cost was great to her own heart, out of love she chose to give her very best to this precious little girl.  As people have discovered that our daughter is adopted I’ve had the full range of comments and I lovingly and consistently tell people what a heroine my baby’s birthmother was and IS!

Placing a baby for adoption isn’t just “dumping” something that doesn’t fit into a woman’s life, it is the most sacrificial love I can think of. Loving a child so much that that love transcends all desire for themselves. Birthmom’s are AMAZING!  I’ve met several of them and all of them act according to a great love for their child.

Even though I’ve never met her, I LOVE my daughter’s birthmother. Not just because she is an answer to our prayers, but also because she loves her precious baby, my precious baby.  There is not a day goes by that I don’t think of this woman and pray for her.  She is one amazing woman!

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Types of adoption: Open, Semi-Open, or Closed.

A beautiful explanation of the types of adoption available to suite each family written by Lisa:

A fully open adoption can almost be described as a family relationship with open invitations to call and visit each other. Semi-Open generally includes meetings and visits with each other before the birth of the baby, letters and pictures throughout the child’s life, and possibly one visit in a neutral location after baby is born. Closed adoption means none of the parents meet each other, or even know first names. There are no letters, pictures or contact after the birth of baby.
Typically, the Birth Parents decide how much openness they want. Adoptive Parents also decide what they are comfortable with. Many Adoptive Parents have been through a significant amount of grief by the time they make the decision to choose adoption as a way to grow their family. They may have been through one or more still births and/or miscarriages. They have endured years of disappointment, humiliation and empty arms. Usually, by the time they are ready to adopt they have grieved over never knowing who they would have “created” as a couple—what he or she would have looked like, or what it felt like to be pregnant. They have grieved unimaginable losses. So they make the steps towards adoption with sometimes “raw” and vulnerable emotions. This vulnerable state can cause some Adoptive Parents fear and trepidation about open and even semi-open adoption. It is not uncommon for Adoptive Parents to desire a closed adoption when they first begin the process, only to become comfortable with some form of openness with time. There are many Adoptive Parents who are comfortable with a fully open adoption. The majority of adoptions in this day and age are considered semi-open.
On the flip side, the parents, or Birth Parents of the baby are giving the most precious gift they could ever give by placing their child into the adoptive couple’s arms. To give that gift without ever seeing or reading how their child is doing, what he or she is like or what he or she looks like can be extraordinarily painful. However birth Parents that are able to view these pictures and letters are given a tangible way to see that the gift they gave is loved, happy and well care for. It is healing and comforting to the inner loss they have experienced by giving their baby up for adoption. They have not made an easy or quick decision about how to provide what they know is the best life for their baby, so to have letters and pictures with-held can almost feel like a punishment. There are some Birth Parents who do not wish to have any contact with the Adoptive Parents, or ever to see the baby or receive letters and pictures. This is not wrong because it is their way of handling the pain and grief they are experiencing. Each of us handles grief and difficult life experiences differently. Adoption today allows room for these differences.
Whether you choose to have a fully open adoption, semi-open adoption or closed adoption, you have choices whether you are Adoptive Parents or Birth Parents. In most cases, if the two sets of parents meet each other, all fear and trepidation are gone, replaced with affection and respect.

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Reputable Adoption Agency or Adoption Facilitator?

What’s the difference between an adoption facilitator and an adoption agency?

Adoption Facilitator

An Adoption Facilitator is not licensed or authorized by the U.S. or foreign government, which means there are no legal standards they must meet and no oversight of their activities. If there are problems, there’s no licensing authority to complain to. Facilitators work on a per-case basis and receive a commission per child. Hence they have an incentive to place as many children as possible. This creates a conflict of interest between protecting the rights of children and birth parents on one hand and maximizing profits on the other.

Reputable Adoption Agency

A reputable adoption agency, by contrast, is fully authorized and accountable for its actions.  Reputable adoption agencies:

  • are licensed and accredited, both in the United States and in the countries placing children for adoption.
     
  • abide by ethical standards. They take no shortcuts, pay no bribes, work directly with the responsible authorities and document every step of the adoption process.
     
  • serve children first and parents second.
     
  • pay their domestic and foreign staff a fixed salary, no matter how many children they place. They provide support to institutions and agencies in the child’s birth country to serve children who cannot be adopted.
     
  • work before, during and after the adoption to evaluate the parents’ readiness to adopt, help family members adjust to each other, and track the child’s progress after the adoption.
     
  • provide training and education to prepare families for the challenges of adoption.
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